Sarah Ross

Out of the hundreds, even thousands of positive words and messages I have heard in my lifetime, I will never forget the three little words of advice that changed my view on living.

There I was, in a song writing session in LA with my two sisters. We have been in a band since we were kids and understood the art of writing songs, but definitely not co-writing. This was a whole new world to us, scary and exciting all in one. We were a little frightened, to say the least. This particular session was one of the first times we had been told to walk into a room with people we didn’t know and write a hit song. We were young and shy and filled with the urge to self edit. I remember wanting to blurt out ideas that would pop in my head but I felt like they weren’t good enough, even stupid. One of the writers, a VERY pregnant woman from Australia, looked at us, threw up her hands and yelled ‘DARE TO SUCK!’ Our eyes widened from the honesty in her voice, and the power of those three words. They forever shaped the way we not only wrote songs, but how we lived our lives. From that point on, we took the approach of just going for it, instead of the approach of living out a moment in our heads and not ever living it for real because we scared ourselves into believing that we wouldn’t be good enough at it.

We live in a day and age where we are controlled by what others want us to do, say or be. It’s hard to truly be unique and be ok with that, because everyone wants to be like someone else. Imagine if we lived our lives with those three words tattooed on our minds. Dare to suck. Break free from the norm and don’t be worried about the outcome. I can guarantee that you might look back and realize that some of the things you decided to do weren’t the best, but you will never regret that you dared to do them. You won’t regret that you had the guts to step out and suck at something instead of never even starting.

Looking back on how much I used to self edit, I realize how much I wasn’t truly living. Daring to suck gives you the opportunity to make the most of your life and never have regrets. You give yourself the freedom to really let go and see your dreams take shape, no matter the outcome. You start believing that daring to suck is really just daring to live, and if it sucks, oh well. You did it. So go ahead and suck. I dare you.

It’s so easy to justify things in this day and age. We are bombarded with excuses and avenues to take the easy way out. What happened to the days when we would just take the initiative and move forward? No excuses.

“We will never change what we excuse in our lives.”

Those words are some of the truest I have heard in a long time. If we are constantly justifying and excusing the things we need to get around to doing or changing, we will never get to them, never change them. We say to ourselves, ‘I’ll get around to that tomorrow,’ and yet tomorrow never seems to come. We are stuck in a constant cycle of knowing what needs to be done, then making the excuse of why we haven’t gotten to it yet.  That vicious circle deals with how we value ourselves and then we fall into the lie that we are lazy, procrastinator and just plain worthless. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of feeling that way. It’s time to break the habit of making excuses and start living life to its fullest.

So how do you go about this, you ask? Well, for starters, stop excusing yourself from life and start pushing forward in the things that need to get done. Choose to make things happen. This will be a daily decision, maybe even for the rest of your life. Figure out what the cycle you’ve been stuck in looks like and as soon as you see yourself letting the excuses creep back in, cut them off at the root. Instead of overwhelming yourself with a million things at once, focus on one thing at a time. If you start something, finish it, then move on to the next thing. Maybe your excuses include cleaning, or shopping, finishing homework or working out. Or maybe they’re about asking out that girl you really like, getting married, starting a new career or selling your home. Whatever the task or goal, don’t let the excuses get so deep into your mind and heart that you are stuck in the pattern of dreaming and failing before you even have time to take action. Look your goals right in the face and take control. Clean that car, kiss that girl, move your family to that country. Whatever it is, go for it.

Excuses can only control your life if you believe in them more than you believe in yourself. For example, I have been staring at my computer for days now, telling myself that I will start writing tonight, which then turned into tomorrow, which turned into a week. For whatever reason, I kept giving myself the excuse that I was too busy to fit in the things that I really loved. Life just happened and I didn’t get around to it. Writing that down makes me realize how terrible of an excuse it is! Really what happened is I let life just happen instead of making something happen. If we aren’t constantly aware of what we need to push forward with, then we will stop moving, which is when the excuses see their entrance and take over. Once you give an excuse a foothold, it will weasel it’s way into your life, and will make it so much harder for you to turn back.

So, I’m deciding today to stop excusing myself from truly living my life and I’m going to start moving forward, making time for the things that I need to get done! Will you join me? Let’s stop making excuses and start making changes.

When I was asked to write a personal testimony for anyone and everyone to read it kind of made me nervous. Weird really, since my whole life has been just that. Writing songs about my life; telling stories of hardships and joys from so many different stages, on television shows and radio shows. Being honest and transparent is what I’m good at, right?  But I feel as if I’ve lost a little bit of that lately and given some of that honesty over to an issue that I’ve been dealing with for quite some time now.

Normally I would tell about my struggle with an eating disorder and how God turned it around to let me be able to help and speak about it, but I don’t feel like I need to tell that story again. I want to give a testimony of something I have been going through from the past four years until now, but really it’s been inside of me my whole life. I want to write about my struggle with control. It’s been a crazy past four years for me and my sisters. Let’s go back to 2006 for just a minute. My sisters and I were blessed to be on the biggest tour in the world at the time. We were performing with a Disney group called The Cheetah Girls. Here we are, 3 young girls living their dream! We had been touring and writing and performing together since 1997, and now we were singing for tens of thousands of people. It was a 5 month, sold out arena tour and we were overwhelmed and honored every night to take the stage. God’s hand was on our career and we were loving life. Then, mid tour, we found out that our parents were getting a divorce. Our world was shaken. It was the first thing that had ever come between the 5 of us, the unstoppable Ross family.

Fast forward to October 2007 when we decided to leave Hollywood Records, our label at the time. We had put together a killer plan with our manager to be an independent artist. Two days after leaving the label we get a call from our manager saying that she wasn’t going to move forward with us. Wow, in a matter of a year it seemed like we had lost it all. Our tight knit family and now our career. So instead of giving up, we just took over our business and kept moving forward. We didn’t stop. I made a list of every person we had ever worked with and started putting together a plan, because I knew that without a plan and a passion behind that plan we wouldn’t be able to keep going. Since then we have toured here in the states, toured 3 times in Europe, released 2 EP’s and our last single What’s Beautiful was #1 on the Australian charts for a few weeks. Doesn’t sound that bad, right? Well in the midst of the craziness, and then the break ups, and then the pushing forward, this little man called ‘control’ started taking over my life. It was really subtle at first. I didn’t know that he was there, whispering in my ear that I was the one making this all happen, and that it was going to fall apart if I ever stopped to look at all of it. I was terrified of stopping this crazy pace because I was afraid that I would say goodbye to my dreams. It was as if the universe was going to cease to exist if I didn’t keep controlling it all. Ha! Writing this now I just have to laugh, realizing that I honestly thought that. Who did I think I was? Well, I was flat out trying to play God. I didn’t trust Him enough to know that He had it all under control. He knew all of the heartache that was going to happen, and He knew how to handle it. Isn’t it so funny how things start falling apart and instead of us realizing right away that it’s all God’s plan, we jump to taking over and freaking out and relying on ourselves to fix it all?

It took me about a year and a half to realize what had happened, that I had let the fear of letting God take over control me, and I had given control the front seat of my life. When you come to a place of letting go, its scary, painful, sad, lonely and just plain hard. But it becomes one of the most freeing and satisfying things you could ever do. So after stepping back and looking at my life, I decided it was time to give it over to God. I had to remind myself that God’s plan won’t fall apart if I let go. The world won’t stop spinning no matter how much I think I’m holding it together. His promise in Jeremiah 29:11-13 will never be broken no matter how messed up things get. I hope my transparency has somehow encouraged you. If you are in the same place that I was in then know that I am living proof that things get better when we give it all up. You are not alone and you will never be forgotten. “His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts…”

So I’m writing a book. It’s about moments in my life that have defined me, but mainly about being about to feel like enough, instead of feeling like second best all the time. It’s about the process of finding out who God has made us to be and loving that…here are some pieces i took out to share!

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I’ve been going through a crazy time lately. I keep asking myself how I’m feeling, so I decided to write them down. It wasn’t a pretty picture. Literally every word was more negative than the last. Why? I have gotten to a point of letting anger, resentment, bitterness and pride take over. Somewhere along this journey I must have stopped trying to fight against it and just gave in. It has slowly killed the “me” I was becoming, and made me something that I hate. My brain won’t stop moving, stop trying to figure out my next move. I can hardly enjoy the things I used to love and crave. I am numb to so much and it’s wrong. The voice in my head that screams ‘you have never and will never be enough’ has turned from a lie into a belief, and it’s no ones fault but my own. But where do I go from here? I’m supposed to be able to help and encourage others, but how do I do that for myself? The only answer I know is to fall on my knees, cry out to God, give it all over to Him.

It’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to be angry and to be confused and not know the direction that God is taking you, but it’s not ok to just sit and sulk and not move forward because you want to gloat in your anger and feel like you haven’t been dealt the hand that you deserve. If you want something to happen in your life, you can’t expect it to just work itself out if you aren’t actively moving in that direction. When I sat back and realized that God might be moving me into new things that I didn’t’ think I was ready for, I freaked. I had moments of being composed and truly believing that God had it all under control, but then there were more moments of me laying awake at night, unable to shut off my brain and stop being angry and bitter. I knew what I had in mind for my life and it wasn’t panning out to be that

So…I made a decision. I was going to dedicate my time to figuring out who God made ME. Not who he made my sisters, or my friends of anyone else I knew, but me. I always have a plan, a stepping process to get where I need to go. But at this point in my life I had none. I described it to friends as moving but having no set direction. But that’s ok. God never promised that the road would be completely smooth and straight and we could see everything in front and behind and beside. He just said that He would be there with us the whole time, guiding our steps. My prayer for you is that you don’t get caught up like I did in the lies, or if you have that you are able to step back right now and see a bigger picture. Those dreams you had are not shattered because things didn’t turn out YOUR way. You may have lost your job, or you aren’t sure how you will be paying rent. Maybe you were left alone or whatever the case, you can still succeed and move into God’s will for your life. If you look back and see your life through His eyes, you will know that you are always enough. Strive to the best that YOU can be, not the best that you see someone else being and you have to compare and live up to them. We all have our own levels of success; no two will be the same. When you compare, you will see yourself falling further and further behind as the person you are comparing to is excelling. Why? It could possibly be because they are just doing the best that they personally know they can, and they aren’t trying to measure up to anyone. That will only leave you lonely and unhappy…

I was driving one day, thinking and felt like God was saying ‘Sarah Ross, I have a plan for you. Are you able to give up your own to see what mine is for you?’ That IS NOT AN EASY THING! We all would hope that if we were the rich man that God told to give it all up and walk with him that we would, but would we? Can you really let go of it all, cross that line between what we what and what He wants, and never look back? I am striving my hardest to get to that point of not second guessing when God says jump. Like my mama always used to say “When God says ‘JUMP!’, I say ‘how high?’

Learning to swim.

5/11/11

While visiting Gage in OKC this past week, we decided to enjoy the gorgeous weather and go to a lake. Roadie (for those of you that don’t know, she’s my dog ) came with us. We figured she needed an adventure bigger than just roaming through the trees in his parents fenced in back yard! So we arrived at the lake and Roadie was so excited to be there! She barked at the wind surfers, ran through the grass, sniffed around in the dirt…ya know, dog stuff. As we got closer and closer to the water, she realized that she wasn’t quite sure what it was. She’s never gone swimming in anything other than the bathtub! Gage started taking off his socks and shoes and walked towards the lake, with Roadie hesitantly walking behind him.

As soon as her paws hit the water she looked so confused, but kept following Gage. She could walk/jump a good ways out before realizing she could no longer stand. She looked back at me, then up at Gage, then just started paddling. She of course doesn’t know that all dogs instinctively swim, she just realized quickly that it was either sink or swim, period. She absolutely LOVED it! At one point she even jumped up on Gage, yanked the leash out of his hands and started swimming around with the leash in her mouth, just loving life, taking charge. What an adventure!

As I was watching, a thought popped into my head. We all have moments in our lives that are so similar to this. Sometimes we are stuck in that same position that Roadie was; sinking or swimming. We either start taking initiative and move forward or we are just going to fall right back into our old ways and never progress, never grow. Look at your life. Are you hesitant to walk into the water because you aren’t sure you can stay above it. You aren’t sure that you’ll be able to make it back alive? Well guess what. You’ll never know if you don’t go for it, like Roadie did. She kept walking until her ground fell away, and instead of panicking and letting herself sink right to the bottom, she improvised and started swimming. So take charge of your life today, grab that leash, if you will, and start swimming . If Roadie can do it, I promise that you can too!

So I’ve been in Oklahoma City for the past few days visiting my boyfriend Gage. He opened a tattoo shop here with his best friend Caleb. I came to support what they’re doing and to see Gage. I got some more ink while I was at it too! haha anyway, I was going through things I’ve written and came across this one..I haven’t posted it here on my site but it’s been on my Facebook and twitter and all those other things that people check to know what’s going on in your life…:) just wanted to re-share! Enjoy…

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5.12.10 / JUMP THE FENCE DUDE /

Have you ever had a moment that you threw all caution to the wind and just went for something? Full force, without hesitating or letting your mind wander far enough to stop you? Just dove right in, being sure of what you wanted and needed and just did it? Well, I was just cleaning my kitchen and this memory popped into my head. Let me set up the scene for you. You have a girl and a guy (wow, how much more cliché can I get? J ) that are falling for each other. It’s apparent that they are a good team and they complement one another. They are just friends, but both know that soon it will be more than that. One night the guy asks the girl to come hang with him and his friend. They’re going to see a movie and wanted her to come along. The girl is excited, nervous, anxious, thrilled…her mind is racing, yet calm while she drives to the theatre. She feels different; happy. Ok, cut to the guy and his buddy. They are chilling, talking, waiting for the girl to arrive. The guy is feeling every emotion, letting his mind wander to the ‘what could be’, to the possibility that this could be something he never dreamed of. He is relaying his thoughts to his friend, and they devise a plan. The friends tells the guy that when he sees the girl, he needs to jump the fence of the restaurant they are at. ‘Don’t hesitate, just jump the fence and get the girl’. Ok so…the girl shows up, not knowing this convo, friends sees her and yells ‘Jump the fence dude!’ He jumps the fence and is immediately by her side, leaving her with the most amazing feeling of security and joy. You get the point from there.

So what does this have to do with anything, you ask? I was just thinking, have you ever had your ‘jump the fence’ moment? Or have you ever watched someone else have their own? It’s a beautiful thing. One person letting go, knowing nothing was theirs to hold onto anyway, and entrusting God to take over and to catch them on the other side of the fence, if you will. I know this girl, and I know that she didn’t realize the imagery and the weight of this moment, seeing the boy she loved jumping a fence just to be by her side, to know that they were good in God’s eyes. It’s that moment where you truly let go. There’s no better way to show how much you love someone than to let them go, which doesn’t always mean you have to walk away. Just give it/him/her over and see what happens. It hurts. But it’s beautiful. And in that moment of letting go, you are able to look to God and ask, ‘what fence am I jumping today? What do you have for me? Show me your way.’

So when you are going through something crazy in your life, whether good or bad, and you know that a decision needs to be made, that a step forward is necessary, no matter what you are leaving behind, then ‘jump the fence dude’ and don’t look back and wonder. Know that you did the right thing and also that there will be many more fences to jump, many more things to let go of and give over to the One that holds our breath in His hands. What a wonderful image. I’m not saying that once you jump things will fall perfectly into place and you will never have hardship again. I am saying that once you jump, knowing something was from God, you will have an amazing peace that passes understanding…read that again. Peace that PASSES understanding. That doesn’t say a peace that makes everything make sense. So jump, and know that He is waiting on the other side, smiling, crying, thankful that you finally decided to make the move He was calling you towards. Don’t miss out on what’s over there guys. Jumping that fence could be the best thing you will ever do.

4.20.11 -

I’m gonna start by saying that I love my little sister. So much that I booked a last minute ticket to LA to support her as she goes to sing backup for Miley Cyrus. I am proud of her. As soon as I found out there was a ‘friends and family dress rehearsal’ for the tour I booked my flight. I didn’t even think, just went for it. So here I am, sitting at the Dallas airport on my layover, waiting to board the plane to the City of Angels. I got about 3 hours of sleep before I was in my car and driving to the Nashville Airport. I got there just in time to find out that my flight had been cancelled in the middle of the night and I was rebooked for the 8:10 out of Nashville instead of the 6:00am. After calling Julia at 3:30 am her time and letting her know, I wandered around the airport for 2 hours just to waste time. I actually even fell asleep for a little bit sitting at my gate. Then finally they announced over the loud speaker that we were boarding! I was just glad to get out of there. As I was standing waiting for my Group to be called there was this guy that came up and sat down at the gate. I looked over and smiled and thought ‘I bet his seat is going to be right by mine’. Oh I’m good…I was right…So after an awkward handshake, exchanging of names and some great conversations, I was no longer traveling alone! We got coffee together in Dallas during our layovers and then we parted ways. It is so cool to be able to spend some of your life, time and words with someone else that you may never see again. I was able to share some stories and hear stories that were funny and encouraging. I just listened to a sermon on community and how important it truly is, and I was able to see that being played out in my life on that flight from Nashville to Dallas. Then the next flight from Dallas to LA I slept the whole time! After, of course, telling the man next to me that I wasn’t trying to be rude and not talk, I was just exhausted. He understood.

4.21.11 –

Now I am here in LA, sitting on the floor of Julia’s hotel bathroom, trying to let her sleep because I know she is wiped out! Yesterday was their last day of rehearsals, and I was so glad I got to see the show. Everything was stupendous! From Miley to the dancers to the band to my little baby sister up on that stage all grown up…I am so very proud of her. It was weird seeing her on stage and not being right up there with her, but that time will come again soon. For now, this is a season of change; a season to keep loving what we love and finding a love for things we may not have known we had. For making random friends and hopefully leaving a mark in their life. For remembering that life isn’t all about us, but it’s about every little moment that we get to experience and what we learn from those moment. It’s about loving God and loving people. For me today it’s about being there for my little sister before she embarks on this awesome journey that she will never forget. It’s about me taking the time to sit on this cold bathroom floor to write down my thoughts and hopefully encourage you a little bit as well. Life is beautiful. Don’t miss the small reminders today ok? Take time ouside of yourself to do someone for someone else…It won’t only change your life, but theirs as well. And remember…in the words of the great Miley Cyrus…It’s all about the climb….

Hahahaha I just HAD to put that in there.

4.1.11

6:45 am –

I forgot to write again last night! The beach was a great time to relax and just enjoy God’s creation. The same vendors showed up from last time. There were kids selling seashells, dogs that were just waiting for anything to be thrown their way and oh yea, the battery in our Tap Tap died so we had to wait for all of that to get fixed! Once we got back we were able to shower briefly which was good for me and my paint filled hair! Then we got to take some motorcycles (Haitian taxis as they call them) and head to the church.

Oh wait, backing up a few days, Rufus (our incredible team leader) had asked Ted and I to sing a hymn together for our last church service here. We said yes but never really had a second to plan anything together! So yesterday it turned into 4 of us singing ‘It it well with my soul.’ We were rehearsing our harmonies while walking through Jacmel to the ‘Haitiain taxi’ station. (a curb on a random street ) It was really comical, but we got up there during the service and Ted spoke some and then we sang. He said it was one of his favorite moments of the trip! Then some of the Haitian women spoke about how blessed they were from us being there. One lady was 47 and said she had never been told she would or could be good at something until this week! She was a part of the jewelry making class that Ruth (Rufus’s wife) lead. Now she is able to make her own jewelry and sell it. Then the woman whose house we finished spoke and she came us all these beautiful porcelain birds as gifts. I also received some porcelain mangos too! I was all choked up. They gave all they had to us. We always come here to serve and bless and we are served and blessed so much more in return! Now it our last day. We are about to head to breakfast, then off in the vans to Port au Prince. Oh that lovely 3 hour ride over the mountain…

I need to figure out how to take the way I feel and perceive things here back with me to the States. It’s so much harder when everyone at home hasn’t seen…we all complain about the littlest things and we have SO much, and then no one here ever grumbles and they have nothing. How do I keep my humble, servant attitude even when I’m not with people who have seen what we’ve been able to see in Haiti…Patience is running through my head. I need to have more patience. So many haven’t seen. I have seen, now I am responsible.

‘Love NOT the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life is not of the Father! But it is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof, but he that doeth the will of God abideth FOREVER!’ 1 John 2:15-17

3.31.11

6:30 am –

I forgot to write last night! We went back to the house after the feeding program and were able to do 2 coats of primer on the whole thing, excluding the one outside wall. We are heading back after breakfast to paint the rose color and hopefully be done with it by lunch. We are scheduled to go to the beach again, and apart of me wants to go, then the bigger part wants to stay and work more. Speaking of beach, the pastors took us out to eat last night! We drove 50 minutes to nowhere’s-ville and ended at this beautiful resort-ish hotel that was owned by this sweet old man named Rol. His hotel was awesome! It’s right across from the beach, great rooms, running water and electricity, a bar/restaurant. Just great. But to get there you have to drive through Jacmel. Not sure it would be easy to drive through so much poverty and then end up there. Just don’t know. Although, the city is SO much more clean and taken care of than it was in October when I was here. I was really surprised and encouraged by that! It’s amazing to see progress, change and hard work paying off to better the country.

Oh yea, after dinner there was no water at the hotel again. So here’s to day 2 of sandpaper dust/paint hair! Loving it. Only in Haiti.

1 Corinthians 8:13-14 – ‘For I mean not that the other men be eased and ye be burdened. But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, and that their abundance may also be a supply for your want; that there may be equality.’

2:10 pm –

We are at the beach. I thought long and hard about not going with everyone because I really wanted to finish the house we started. After breakfast we set off to finish all the painting. We had 6 cans of Rose paint and it was going to take about 10 or so to finish. We had 4 hours before lunch to get it done. I swear Jesus kept making the paint multiply. We finished the whole house, inside and out, by 12:10 with 2 cans of paint left over! It was amazing. God came through and it might seem like painting is a small thing, but this family of 8 has been living in a tent for a year and a shack before that. They were so grateful. So we finished what we came here to do! The key was given to Antoine for the first house that we finished. Oh our lunch just got here. Fish..And I mean fish!

‘Churches today are not experiencing the power and anointing of God in their ministries because they do not have the humility to wait on Him.’ – K.P. Yohanan

3.30.11

6:30 am –

Bonjoi! It’s really early! I wake up quick here though. It could be the roosters who have NO internal clocks, the stray cat meowing under our window or the hard working Haitians who are up before sunrise to start banging on the roof of the hotel. I mean I could be wrong, who knows

So last night the water was out so I took a bucket shower! What an experience. Then this morning there wasn’t running water again. I washed my hair because that’s all the water I had in the bucket. Baby wipes got the rest of the job done! What a trip. Jesus you are here.

Praying with the Haitians last night about their election was amazing. They broke out, were so loud, just kept going and going. Never once would they say the prayers are too long like we do in America. That doesn’t make sense to them. My book I’m reading is describing how and when we lost those things. So sad. Will we as Americans ever be able to worship and pray so freely? I wonder…

4:11 pm –

2^nd house is sanded and primered. My hands are raw! We are going out to eat in Jacmel tonight. Hope there’s water for a shower! Here’s hoping.

It’s been a LONG day! I saw Christelle (my sponsor girl) today at the feeding program. She finally smiled at me! I met her for the first time in October and Pastor was explaining to her that I sponsor her to go to school and be in the feeding program, but she wouldn’t smile at me. I totally didn’t expect it, I mean I would be freaked out if this white girl showed up and started talking to me in a language I don’t understand, and then I find out that she pays for me to do things. I mean makes sense right? Anyway, this time she was sitting with her cousin and best friend and she was smiling so much! I got a picture with her and just sat with her for alittle bit. I wish I could speak Creole so we could talk to each other, but it’s pretty cool how much you can communicate with your eyes and hang gestures! I really do love these children. They are beautiful.